Attention Getting

There's a never ending list of things & people to pray for these days. Yesterday, I took a little time to chat w/ a customer. Older gentleman. He's 78, recently widowed, and was having trouble w/ his furnace. This is actually an area where I know a little about, thanks to my Dad. :) Anyway, through conversation he told me quite a bit about himself. Told me he was lonely all the time. Told me that he was lost w/out his best friend of 58 years. Also told me that he hoped to fill the void. Told me he has a 60 yr old lady friend that he hopes to be his companion. Even told me they had spent the night together once. "We had fun" he said. He was SERIOUS about it too! *I tried so hard NOT to laugh!!* He ended up remarking, "if you ever need some good lovin, just look me up." *sigh* shaking my head* I did manage to witness to the man. Told him my "philosophy" on being single. He seemed receptive. He did end up hugging & smooching my cheek twice. *sigh* After he left, I sneaked into the office and laughed so hard I thought I was going to wet myself !!! I prayed for him. Prayed for myself. **God knows I've had my ups/downs with relationships. I've never had one that really worked, and yet.. it seems I'm the "go to" for advice and it's almost like people seek me out to talk to me about that stuff. I don't get it. Maybe I've been honed/primed for fielding these kinds of questions/situations. I just don't know. I have a bit of insecurities here and I try not to stress myself out over them.**

Also, yesterday, brought to light was my co-worker who is struggling right now. Poor dear is attempting to have children late in life, with some health issues. Yesterday was a very rough day for her. They told her they couldn't find a heartbeat. *sigh* Being in that situation twice in my life, my heart severely aches for her. I pray that God bring her the definite answers she's crying out for and that her heart be comforted. In this situation, that is pretty much all you can do except be ready to lend an ear if/when she's ready to talk about it. I know everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why my two pregnancies didn't happen. I'm thankful now, but then I was devastated. My days were dark and sad. I feel her pain. I truly do.

I know God works through us like blood passes through our veins. Basically, He carries us from one place or person to another for a reason.. a precise function in that place / persons life. I ran into that interesting fact several times yesterday. I thank God for those moments. I hope that even though my efforts may not seem grand or outwardly that His seeds be watered, His messages get across, and that His work be done.

This morning, I reminded my son before going into school.. You see, he's been struggling w/ getting his work done sometimes. . "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men." It's Colossians.. 3:23  Anyway.. I reminded him that he needs to do his work as if God's instructed him to do it. It's been on my heart for some time now to tell him that. I know it's high school and it blows chunks terribly for him sometimes but I feel as though he'd understand that God wants us to work hard and do His will. This is why I love my job. Not only can I work for Cole's - - a family business, network, and etc of its own -- but I also get plenty of opportunity to do God's work as well. Believe it or not, I enjoy it! It may not always have those 'happy sunshine, rainbows, and fluffy bunny' days but it's good work and enjoyable to do it. I hope to talk more w/ my son about this later. The walk to school is so short & this morning I wasn't thinking clearly or prepared in anyway.. it just blurted out of me at the last minute. *shaking my head*

I feel God keeps grabbing my attention. I feel like I am being prepared for something bigger. I'm not sure what it is. I still struggle with some of my own personal issues that pop up from time to time. I pray God is in control and allows me to focus on others & the work He needs done in others lives. I know He's working on me. I know He'll get to my issues: one way or another. I still strive to remain joyous, happy, and feeling blessed.

Trust

I wrote an essay back in 2008 .. It was a homework assignment that I handed in and if I remember correctly, got a 100% on it. Honestly, I'm feeling vulnerable these days. I try to be open, honest, and trustworthy to all. I guard my heart just enough. I've been practicing patience, diligence, and strive to keep myself out of temptation and fear. I can count on ONE hand the people I trust 100% w/out any reservation--these are the ones that I can go to NO MATTER WHAT!!! #1 is God. #2 is my parents and family. #3 is my boss. There is a #4--but I won't get into that too much. LOL (*Frankly, I get a little scared when I think of #4. It's a friend that I've grown rather fond of having in my life. I don't feel any pressure to be anyone but myself around this person and never ONCE have felt judgment. No matter what I've said or done: past, present, or future. **ok.. I must stop there. ** Admitting my level of trust for this person is already enough to cause me to have a mini freak out inside.*)

All my other friends, family, neighbors, relationships, friendships, and otherwise acquaintances have what I call: surface trust. That's what I call when you reach out, share good times, and are there to help them when they ask but you know that they're at higher risk for disappointing you. May not be today, tomorrow, next week or next month, but you KNOW that they aren't reliable enough to trust 100%--with all your secrets, feelings, and skeletons, etc.  It may just because they're life is consumed by busyness or conflict or mental / emotional issues or it could be that you just don't know them well enough to share. This doesn't mean that you are a royal monster to them. This just means that you trust them w/ what you can, when you can.

So... here is that essay I spoke of earlier..

My key to trust is my faith & trust in the Truth and His guiding hand to lead me into trustworthy relationships with my fellow mankind.

Proverbs 3:5-6 states "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." It appears that faith and trust go hand in hand. Faith is defined as complete trust. Trust is defined as to place confidence, depend or believe or rely on the truth; Truth being the real state of things. Trust should be a solid reliance on something true. This is why trust is so hard for us, as people. People are, by nature, tempted to lie, cheat, steal, and gossip.

When we place confidence in other people we leave ourselves vulnerable for possible disappointment. This disappointment can lead to fear in trusting others and lack of faith. Fear can keep us from trusting and believing of other things - like God, family, and even ourselves. Placing trust in someone or something should be free of fear or worry. Unfortunately, human nature is to suspect, fear, worry, and be tempted with deception.

This is why is it written for us in Psalms 118:8-9 "It is better to trust in the Lord Than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord Than to put confidence in princes." To trust our fellow man we must trust and be faithful that God will lead us and others to be in fellowship and in relationships worthy of trust. Our faith in God and our trusting Him to be in control is how we can be able to trust people even if we fear disappointment.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 - Asking God to help is another key to trust. Prayer and reflection on and for our relationships with others can lighten the burden of worry and fear. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7