Under Pressure

I'm finally feeling like I'm breaking free of the funk I've been in lately.
Y A Y !!!

The past few days have been interesting. Lack of sleep - abundance of weird / wacky / frightening dreams - a glimpse of criminal behavior & directing the long arm of the law to it's foe - my grandmother had a heart attack & underwent triple bypass - and there's been a few personal things / discovers / insecurities that keep popping up here / there.

Whew. That's a lot ! I finally got to the point where I finally understood the whole dream / lack of sleep deal. I woke from a dream last night so haunting that I literally prayed for God to intercede and banish satan from his power over my sleep. It worked. I got 3 peaceful hours.

Today's busy workload left me feeling dizzy. I wasn't surprised w/ it being Friday & we only had so many people scheduled to do so many things. Still, it was a good day. It's pay day :)
It felt even more awesome to come home & sit down & pay some bills.

My sister in law messaged me today w/ a very awesome point of view. She knows me and her opinion/thought hit me so hard that I nearly fell over. Basically, her point of view is that maybe the reason I keep getting pushed to the breaking point where I cry and feel vulnerable so much is because I need to know that it's OK to have emotions and that I need to learn to feel strong - even with these feelings.  Hmmm... oh boy.

Talk about getting hit by the proverbial 2 x 4 of realization! ! That started to really sink in.
Add into the mix the release of energy of getting things accomplished at work.
PLUS the love, peace, and comfort of God & knowing that trusting HIM to mold my life and my willingness of service to Him is a priority and B L A M !!! I was feeling great!
and THEN!!!! the Irish Creme latte kicked in - - whew !!! talk about bouncing off the walls!!!

L O L !!!

So, I've finally realized that part of my problem was all the pressure I was putting on myself.
I've been so hard on myself that I almost let myself slip into a phase of crazy that I may have actually required external aid in returning to my so-called normal self.

Ya know I'm NOT normal. I have a sense of pride for my individuality.
I LOVE to smile & laugh & enjoy life - - NO MATTER WHAT !!!
God has molded me into a being that I AM PLEASED WITH BEING ! !
Yes, I know that life is an ever-learning process. Yes, I know there are changes undoubtedly coming. Yes, I know that there are probably some things I may never know or change. .

Guess what ? ! If I never get the answer - guess it wasn't meant to be & something else will take it's place in my list of "what ifs". .

I can not be grateful enough for the people God has placed in my life !
God knew exactly what to lay on people's hearts to tell me that were exactly what I needed to hear, absorb, believe & understand. 

HOW INCREDIBLE IS THAT ?!!!!
God can't be any cooler. Really !

I'm a happy girl  - - - and I almost forgot that's WHO I am. That's how God created me.
So, be prepared..  with Him in charge - - anything is possible.
I'm serious  ! ! ! Anything !!! :)
ya never know what may be around the next corner ?!!

That is the coolest & most exciting thought E V E R  !!!
I'm not longer "UNDER PRESSURE".
God has surrounded me w/ love, joy, and peace and lifted that dark cloud of Satan's attacks from me and my life.

Oh sure, there's still plenty of uncertainties that I could be worrying about . . but why should I ??
I'm doing what God wants me to do - when He wants me to do it . .  So, if I don't get what I want - - It's not what I really needed in the first place.

Greatest of LOVE and BLESSINGS to you all !!!