Well, Christmas was awesome! Only there was a sadness mixed in with the whole joyous chaos....
Here's the timeline.. on Saturday - the guy I was dating couldn't make it for our date.. no biggie.. I was worried about him. We talked on Sunday.. set up a breakfast date on Wed. I was EXCITED!!!
On Monday, I got the news that my Pap Wagner has lymphoma--to be treated IMMEDIATELY. *sigh*
So here I go.. into the week feeling emotional and unsure of ANYTHING.. and I got not one reply to any message I sent to my 'guy'. Hmmmmmm--- Wednesday I had off and was showered, dressed, and ready for my breakfast date w/ him.. ready to escape from the emotions and embrace some happiness & butterflies..
He never showed. No text. No call. "Oh well," I said.. "He just had to work that's all." I sent him a few messages asking if something was wrong and what's up, etc.. nothing.. Hmmmmmm
So... Onward we go.. I'm praying CONSTANTLY!!! I have several friends that got engaged, married, and are pregnant and making all kinds of lovely announcements.. plus many that need prayers of healing for many illnesses and depression and relationship issues etc etc the list is ENDLESS. God is in control and knows the needs.. Let Him take control and His will be done AMEN.
So finally!!! Christmas Eve candlelight service @ Montandon.. AWESOME!!! I spent the night at Mom & Dad's.. Christmas morning service @ Montandon.. FANTASTIC. Then we had lunch at my Dad's parents.. My Pap looked good, was in great spirits, and said an AWESOME heartfelt and personal prayer.. made me well up w/ emotion. His faith has taken LEAPS and BOUNDS over the years and I honestly believe he knows JESUS and the LOVE He has for him... Still.. Pap looked a little pale.. and I prayed in my heart that he will be strong and that Jesus will help him fight.
I needed a distraction.. I sent "Merry Christmas" to my guy... nothing... for a while... then.. I got my answer... It's over.. He isn't ready for a relationship.. *sigh* danngit!!!! I let myself give too much too soon and scared him off. WAY TO GO ME!!!! *smacks head*
The next few days have been a bit of a blur. I'm tired. I'm emotional. I feel a bit heartbroken, but ok.. I know & can be confident that I AM READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Now.. the right one just has to come into my life.... *sigh*
I hear songs about love on the radio and I get a little weepy.. I enjoyed my time dating this guy. He is nice, interesting, and seriously broke down some of the stereotypes about men that I had built up. It's not his fault. It's not mine. It's just not the right time or place right now. I accept that.. and I'm excited for my next opportunity w/ someone..
So.. for Christmas my Mom got me a new computer.. so you guys are stuck w/ me posting annoying things on Facebook and BLOGGING!!!!! :) Much love <3 and prayers to you all.