Well, Christmas was awesome! Only there was a sadness mixed in with the whole joyous chaos....
Here's the timeline.. on Saturday - the guy I was dating couldn't make it for our date.. no biggie.. I was worried about him. We talked on Sunday.. set up a breakfast date on Wed. I was EXCITED!!!
On Monday, I got the news that my Pap Wagner has lymphoma--to be treated IMMEDIATELY. *sigh*
So here I go.. into the week feeling emotional and unsure of ANYTHING.. and I got not one reply to any message I sent to my 'guy'. Hmmmmmm--- Wednesday I had off and was showered, dressed, and ready for my breakfast date w/ him.. ready to escape from the emotions and embrace some happiness & butterflies..
He never showed. No text. No call. "Oh well," I said.. "He just had to work that's all." I sent him a few messages asking if something was wrong and what's up, etc.. nothing.. Hmmmmmm
So... Onward we go.. I'm praying CONSTANTLY!!! I have several friends that got engaged, married, and are pregnant and making all kinds of lovely announcements.. plus many that need prayers of healing for many illnesses and depression and relationship issues etc etc the list is ENDLESS. God is in control and knows the needs.. Let Him take control and His will be done AMEN.
So finally!!! Christmas Eve candlelight service @ Montandon.. AWESOME!!! I spent the night at Mom & Dad's.. Christmas morning service @ Montandon.. FANTASTIC. Then we had lunch at my Dad's parents.. My Pap looked good, was in great spirits, and said an AWESOME heartfelt and personal prayer.. made me well up w/ emotion. His faith has taken LEAPS and BOUNDS over the years and I honestly believe he knows JESUS and the LOVE He has for him... Still.. Pap looked a little pale.. and I prayed in my heart that he will be strong and that Jesus will help him fight.
I needed a distraction.. I sent "Merry Christmas" to my guy... nothing... for a while... then.. I got my answer... It's over.. He isn't ready for a relationship.. *sigh* danngit!!!! I let myself give too much too soon and scared him off. WAY TO GO ME!!!! *smacks head*
The next few days have been a bit of a blur. I'm tired. I'm emotional. I feel a bit heartbroken, but ok.. I know & can be confident that I AM READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Now.. the right one just has to come into my life.... *sigh*
I hear songs about love on the radio and I get a little weepy.. I enjoyed my time dating this guy. He is nice, interesting, and seriously broke down some of the stereotypes about men that I had built up. It's not his fault. It's not mine. It's just not the right time or place right now. I accept that.. and I'm excited for my next opportunity w/ someone..
So.. for Christmas my Mom got me a new computer.. so you guys are stuck w/ me posting annoying things on Facebook and BLOGGING!!!!! :) Much love <3 and prayers to you all.
Wednesday, December 28
Wednesday, December 7
So.. it continues
I finally get a chance to sit down and reflect / blog and the computer is working!? what?! ok.. miracles do happen LOL
Anyway - my very last blog was Nov 3rd and it was when I finally 110% gave it all to God and came to the understanding that if I never find love again (or whatever) that I should feel happy & blessed in the love of Jesus and that HE is the ultimate bridegroom and what HE wants of me is what matters.
Little did I know that 5 days later I would be asked out by someone.. I also jokingly said "yea.. a knight in shining armor is just gonna come into the hardware store and just ask me out?! RIGHT! " WEeeelllll.. he's not a knight but he is an interesting and attractive man. He asked me out and we've been out several times since then. I'm surprised how natural things are flowing with him.. surprised at him, his morals, his principles, likes, dislikes, and etc etc..
Anyway - things are what they are. We've spent some time together and I've been enjoying his company. However, I've discovered that the time flies so fast when he and I are together.. Anyway - that's all I'm going to say about it..
So... onto everyday life.. everything's the same.. work is steady and busy. Kids are making it thru the holidays holding their grades up. Daniel did an appearance for the Veterans Day ceremony in Mifflinburg. :) SO proud!! and Lily has been doing some awesome activities w/ the Girl Scouts and such.
Weight loss is at a stand still.. pounds aren't coming off but the clothes are fitting better and better! :) which is just as good as watching that number go down! :) I still have quite a bit I want to lose but it will come in time :) I'm not worried. God has been the greatest! helping me w/ every move I make and I am so happy and blessed!!!
Anyway - my very last blog was Nov 3rd and it was when I finally 110% gave it all to God and came to the understanding that if I never find love again (or whatever) that I should feel happy & blessed in the love of Jesus and that HE is the ultimate bridegroom and what HE wants of me is what matters.
Little did I know that 5 days later I would be asked out by someone.. I also jokingly said "yea.. a knight in shining armor is just gonna come into the hardware store and just ask me out?! RIGHT! " WEeeelllll.. he's not a knight but he is an interesting and attractive man. He asked me out and we've been out several times since then. I'm surprised how natural things are flowing with him.. surprised at him, his morals, his principles, likes, dislikes, and etc etc..
Anyway - things are what they are. We've spent some time together and I've been enjoying his company. However, I've discovered that the time flies so fast when he and I are together.. Anyway - that's all I'm going to say about it..
So... onto everyday life.. everything's the same.. work is steady and busy. Kids are making it thru the holidays holding their grades up. Daniel did an appearance for the Veterans Day ceremony in Mifflinburg. :) SO proud!! and Lily has been doing some awesome activities w/ the Girl Scouts and such.
Weight loss is at a stand still.. pounds aren't coming off but the clothes are fitting better and better! :) which is just as good as watching that number go down! :) I still have quite a bit I want to lose but it will come in time :) I'm not worried. God has been the greatest! helping me w/ every move I make and I am so happy and blessed!!!
Thursday, November 3
1 Corinthians 7:40 Day 1
"But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment-and I think I also have the Spirit of God." this is Paul speaking.. he just finished speaking on how men & women should remain unmarried because being married could be considered a distraction and pull us from our relationship with God. This verse, to me, also means that no matter what - married or unmarried - I should be happy as I am, with what I have, and with life being a search.. search for contentment in Faith, Love, and Truth.
It is with this in mind that I've decided to change the route of my blog.. and run a series of entries.. an unnamed series.. to publicly admit my love for Christ, the prayers I'm praying & the people I'm praying for.. etc.. Let the words be not my own, but God Almighty's message to me and for those that hear it.
Entry One:
This is my journal. I am on a mission to draw closer to God. Here is a collection DAY BY DAY of prayers, prayer requests, Bible verses & studies.... "Dear God, may you find my effort & love pleasing & I pray I hear YOUR message to me in ALL things. In Your Holy Name, AMEN."
Prayer requests:
John Stamm(stomach tumor that is cancerous-surgery Nov 11)
Carol Masden (her mother past away - coping with grief & loneliness)
Mapes family (Kathy past)
Troester family (Gma T past)
Curtis - (brain tumor- relative of Brandon's wife)
Stahl family (Lorelei born 11/1/11 WHAT A BLESSING!!!!)
Sarah G (health, stop smoking)
Stacey Wagner (concussion)
Ammon Wagner (gout)
Pfifer & Andrew (spayed & neutered)
Maxfields (cruise)
Kelly H (due the 29th)
Trego family (death)
Ashley Martin (sickness in family, kids)
Tonight I studied in 1 Corinthians - Proverbs - and Ruth. I gathered some insight but didn't make any notes .. I think I'll just end my entry here.... Hope this series is a blessed one and that people that read it find blessing & inspiration hearing God's word and watching my journey.. no.. more like.. seeking to learn Him, His teachings and live a life worthy of His love. It's not always easy & Satan will get his digs in where ever, whenever he can.. but I figure if I'm faithful & if someone else can learn from what I'm going thru & draw nearer to God in the process.. then it is just.
It is with this in mind that I've decided to change the route of my blog.. and run a series of entries.. an unnamed series.. to publicly admit my love for Christ, the prayers I'm praying & the people I'm praying for.. etc.. Let the words be not my own, but God Almighty's message to me and for those that hear it.
Entry One:
This is my journal. I am on a mission to draw closer to God. Here is a collection DAY BY DAY of prayers, prayer requests, Bible verses & studies.... "Dear God, may you find my effort & love pleasing & I pray I hear YOUR message to me in ALL things. In Your Holy Name, AMEN."
Prayer requests:
John Stamm(stomach tumor that is cancerous-surgery Nov 11)
Carol Masden (her mother past away - coping with grief & loneliness)
Mapes family (Kathy past)
Troester family (Gma T past)
Curtis - (brain tumor- relative of Brandon's wife)
Stahl family (Lorelei born 11/1/11 WHAT A BLESSING!!!!)
Sarah G (health, stop smoking)
Stacey Wagner (concussion)
Ammon Wagner (gout)
Pfifer & Andrew (spayed & neutered)
Maxfields (cruise)
Kelly H (due the 29th)
Trego family (death)
Ashley Martin (sickness in family, kids)
Tonight I studied in 1 Corinthians - Proverbs - and Ruth. I gathered some insight but didn't make any notes .. I think I'll just end my entry here.... Hope this series is a blessed one and that people that read it find blessing & inspiration hearing God's word and watching my journey.. no.. more like.. seeking to learn Him, His teachings and live a life worthy of His love. It's not always easy & Satan will get his digs in where ever, whenever he can.. but I figure if I'm faithful & if someone else can learn from what I'm going thru & draw nearer to God in the process.. then it is just.
Tuesday, October 4
SAY WHAT?!
Today was a nice, long & busy day at work. I opened the store - so that means I'm there by 7 am. My co-worker came in to run register and I started inventory in the paint department. It's not that bad and I'm almost done! That's so satisfying to know that the department isn't supposed to be done until October 22nd and I'm more than 1/2 way finished with it!!
So, I'm doing inventory and minding my own business.. and in walks in my Amish admirer - you know.. that one that got married a while back but still has a bit of a fancy for me. He still gets talky with me when he gets the chance. I hide... and of course I took a good 'ribbing' from my co-workers on why I was hiding etc.. "you know April, you missed your chance at him."
SAY WHAT?!?!
*whew* he's gone.. ok - - back to work... the rest of the day went pretty quick. I did harbor some interruption from a frequent caller - customer. He asks for me by name. He's not a bad person, but likes to call me hon, sweetie, babe and such.. He called a total of 4 or 5 times for me today. Every time it was for merchandise to be held at the register for him etc etc.. I obliged because that's part of my job. I don't mind it, except I was busy with doing inventory and it was disruptive. So on his last call he asked me if I would be at the register - I said no - they have me doing inventory. ** this part is where I freaked out** "Well, you have my cell phone number, text me a picture of you so I know which girl you are the next time I come in."***
SAY WHAT?!?!
umm.. uh.. er.. eh.. "well, I don't have my cellphone at work because we get in trouble for using them while on the clock. I left it at home." I don't think he liked that response. "oh come on.. that's BS." well.. needless to say I told him that he was to call before coming in next time and I would introduce myself. That seemed to appease him since he claims that his curiosity was strictly for the purpose of recognizing me so he could thank me for all the effort I'd been doing to help him. *seems normal enough, right?!*
*shudders*
So, I finished my inventory for the day & my co-worker left --- leaving me at the register for the rest of the evening. Not long after I got there a fella came in - buying roof paint and such -- HE WAS MISSING AT LEAST THREE TEETH ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS MOUTH -- nice guy - friendly & polite. We were going thru his transaction and he suddenly stopped and said "wow, you look different from the last time I was in here." ok.. I'll bite.. "how's that? when were you in last?" and he looks at me, you can smell the smoke coming from his ears thinking.. "about a month or so ago. you've lost a lot of weight." *ME: BIG GRIN* "why yes I have, thank you for noticing. 48 lbs to be exact." **I love shocking people with that.** "WOW! that's alot! Good for you!" he said, "what's the hubby think of that?!"
SAY WHAT?!?!
I quickly replied, "oh yea. its great." I DIDN'T LIE TO HIM NOR DID I TELL HIM THE TRUTH. I continued, "I'm not doing it for that reason anyway. This is for me & being healthier." That seemed to appease him and keep him from pursuing any interest.. with the exception of saying "I sure wish I was younger and I would certainly chase you." *sigh* "ha ha ha Thanks. Have a nice day." is my safe reply.
So, later on - I received a phone call from a customer looking for a certain brand of something. I find the product, the price & ask if he wants me to hold it at the register.. "yes, please" is the reply.. Ok. Later, the customer comes in.. a familiar face. Comes to the register and smiles and says "thank you for holding those for me. that's very sweet of you & I think that's above and beyond." NICE! "you're welcome. it's not a problem." is my reply. "It's the little things that women do that make them desirable" is what he says next.
SAY WHAT?!?
"That's very nice of you. Honestly, it wasn't any trouble. Thank you. Have a nice evening." is how I thought I thwarted that.. As he waved 'cya later' to me ( a few others at the register area) I noticed his wedding band. MARRIED. I don't know.. but it made me even more uncomfortable about the comment he made.. knowing he was married. *sigh*
Oh yea - - and I don't want to forget the mother / son pair that were in.. first they hit up a co-worker of mine about some velcro - to hang a sign that his sister recently gave to him -- before she was incarcerated.. blah blah blah
SAY WHAT?!?!
Yes! he was in public - openly speaking to a random stranger about his personal family matters. *shakes head* what is that?! So they come up to the register - - after looking at every nook & cranny of the store.. the man leans on my counter (*the mother pays for their things*) and he starts messing with her - trying to make himself look all tough & big etc etc (*TRUST ME! I am allergic to BS and I started sneezing!!!*) So, I'm finishing the transaction and he leans over the counter, winks at me and calls me sweetie. (*GAG*) "I'll be back again, without her (meaning his mother) to interrupt talking to you."
SAY WHAT?!?!
*sigh* what a day. 7am to 7 pm. I don't even know what to say... at one point my boss actually took hold of me and was looking me over for the sign that said "psycho magnet" on it. I don't know where it is.. I'm convinced its tattooed on my forehead in only ink that psycho's can read. I seem to attract a type of man that mistakes my friendliness for flirtation. It happens ALL THE TIME. I am not afraid to talk to people - my customer service skills have been honed over the years to smile! be polite! and the kind of person I am - I am sensitive to heartbreak and feel compassion for mankind (GENERALLY SPEAKING). This combination apparently means (to some people) that it's ok to be disgusting & creepy - talk dirty to me and say super gross things (even though they're married or definitely have no chance with me romantically) and take advantage of my kindness.
Not sure what I'm supposed to take from all of this.. but I know one thing for sure: IT SURE MAKES FOR AN INTERESTING DAY AT WORK!!!!
So, I'm doing inventory and minding my own business.. and in walks in my Amish admirer - you know.. that one that got married a while back but still has a bit of a fancy for me. He still gets talky with me when he gets the chance. I hide... and of course I took a good 'ribbing' from my co-workers on why I was hiding etc.. "you know April, you missed your chance at him."
SAY WHAT?!?!
*whew* he's gone.. ok - - back to work... the rest of the day went pretty quick. I did harbor some interruption from a frequent caller - customer. He asks for me by name. He's not a bad person, but likes to call me hon, sweetie, babe and such.. He called a total of 4 or 5 times for me today. Every time it was for merchandise to be held at the register for him etc etc.. I obliged because that's part of my job. I don't mind it, except I was busy with doing inventory and it was disruptive. So on his last call he asked me if I would be at the register - I said no - they have me doing inventory. ** this part is where I freaked out** "Well, you have my cell phone number, text me a picture of you so I know which girl you are the next time I come in."***
SAY WHAT?!?!
umm.. uh.. er.. eh.. "well, I don't have my cellphone at work because we get in trouble for using them while on the clock. I left it at home." I don't think he liked that response. "oh come on.. that's BS." well.. needless to say I told him that he was to call before coming in next time and I would introduce myself. That seemed to appease him since he claims that his curiosity was strictly for the purpose of recognizing me so he could thank me for all the effort I'd been doing to help him. *seems normal enough, right?!*
*shudders*
So, I finished my inventory for the day & my co-worker left --- leaving me at the register for the rest of the evening. Not long after I got there a fella came in - buying roof paint and such -- HE WAS MISSING AT LEAST THREE TEETH ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS MOUTH -- nice guy - friendly & polite. We were going thru his transaction and he suddenly stopped and said "wow, you look different from the last time I was in here." ok.. I'll bite.. "how's that? when were you in last?" and he looks at me, you can smell the smoke coming from his ears thinking.. "about a month or so ago. you've lost a lot of weight." *ME: BIG GRIN* "why yes I have, thank you for noticing. 48 lbs to be exact." **I love shocking people with that.** "WOW! that's alot! Good for you!" he said, "what's the hubby think of that?!"
SAY WHAT?!?!
I quickly replied, "oh yea. its great." I DIDN'T LIE TO HIM NOR DID I TELL HIM THE TRUTH. I continued, "I'm not doing it for that reason anyway. This is for me & being healthier." That seemed to appease him and keep him from pursuing any interest.. with the exception of saying "I sure wish I was younger and I would certainly chase you." *sigh* "ha ha ha Thanks. Have a nice day." is my safe reply.
So, later on - I received a phone call from a customer looking for a certain brand of something. I find the product, the price & ask if he wants me to hold it at the register.. "yes, please" is the reply.. Ok. Later, the customer comes in.. a familiar face. Comes to the register and smiles and says "thank you for holding those for me. that's very sweet of you & I think that's above and beyond." NICE! "you're welcome. it's not a problem." is my reply. "It's the little things that women do that make them desirable" is what he says next.
SAY WHAT?!?
"That's very nice of you. Honestly, it wasn't any trouble. Thank you. Have a nice evening." is how I thought I thwarted that.. As he waved 'cya later' to me ( a few others at the register area) I noticed his wedding band. MARRIED. I don't know.. but it made me even more uncomfortable about the comment he made.. knowing he was married. *sigh*
Oh yea - - and I don't want to forget the mother / son pair that were in.. first they hit up a co-worker of mine about some velcro - to hang a sign that his sister recently gave to him -- before she was incarcerated.. blah blah blah
SAY WHAT?!?!
Yes! he was in public - openly speaking to a random stranger about his personal family matters. *shakes head* what is that?! So they come up to the register - - after looking at every nook & cranny of the store.. the man leans on my counter (*the mother pays for their things*) and he starts messing with her - trying to make himself look all tough & big etc etc (*TRUST ME! I am allergic to BS and I started sneezing!!!*) So, I'm finishing the transaction and he leans over the counter, winks at me and calls me sweetie. (*GAG*) "I'll be back again, without her (meaning his mother) to interrupt talking to you."
SAY WHAT?!?!
*sigh* what a day. 7am to 7 pm. I don't even know what to say... at one point my boss actually took hold of me and was looking me over for the sign that said "psycho magnet" on it. I don't know where it is.. I'm convinced its tattooed on my forehead in only ink that psycho's can read. I seem to attract a type of man that mistakes my friendliness for flirtation. It happens ALL THE TIME. I am not afraid to talk to people - my customer service skills have been honed over the years to smile! be polite! and the kind of person I am - I am sensitive to heartbreak and feel compassion for mankind (GENERALLY SPEAKING). This combination apparently means (to some people) that it's ok to be disgusting & creepy - talk dirty to me and say super gross things (even though they're married or definitely have no chance with me romantically) and take advantage of my kindness.
Not sure what I'm supposed to take from all of this.. but I know one thing for sure: IT SURE MAKES FOR AN INTERESTING DAY AT WORK!!!!
Monday, October 3
is there a birthday in the house?!
Today - October 3rd, 2011 - marked the 13th birthday of my oldest, Daniel. Thursday night my son insisted I tell him the story how his father & I met and how he was born. I managed to keep it PG-13 and easy for him to understand. He fell asleep that night with new information about his life. I sometimes forget that the kids don't remember that stuff and that I hadn't really told him about that happy time our life.
He woke up Friday am with a new haircut & I spiked it up - he looked so handsome, looking older than 13.. that's for sure.
After school, I ran a few errands - a surprise party was planned for that evening. He didn't know.. or wasn't supposed to know.. I think he knew though.. We arrived late to the party but everything was DELICIOUS and he was surrounded by friends and family that love him. It was fun!!
I had to work all day Saturday & then the kids spent the night. Of course, miss Lily is a little jealous of all the attention being given to Daniel. She didn't quite understand why this birthday was so special. She will when she turns 13 in two years. *geez.. I feel old*
So today was his official birthday.. I thought about him all day long: praying for him, his decisions, and the future. Its hard to believe that 13 years have gone by. I remember the joy I felt when I had him. I remember feeling blessed & a sense of true love and overwhelming feeling of family... That joy & feeling has only intensified with each year. No matter whether it be a good or bad year - and even though I'm a single mom and their father is completely out of the picture - I still feel a deep and sincere sense of family and love.
As I prepare for bed, my mind is flooding with memories of him growing up - I can honestly say that it hasn't felt like 13 years have gone by. I certainly don't feel old enough to have a teenager.. *benefit of having my kids so young* I hope the next 13 years don't go by as quickly as these have.. I want to cherish every second I still have with my kiddos.
*sigh* my baby boy is growing up.. he's starting to mature into a young man.
He woke up Friday am with a new haircut & I spiked it up - he looked so handsome, looking older than 13.. that's for sure.
After school, I ran a few errands - a surprise party was planned for that evening. He didn't know.. or wasn't supposed to know.. I think he knew though.. We arrived late to the party but everything was DELICIOUS and he was surrounded by friends and family that love him. It was fun!!
I had to work all day Saturday & then the kids spent the night. Of course, miss Lily is a little jealous of all the attention being given to Daniel. She didn't quite understand why this birthday was so special. She will when she turns 13 in two years. *geez.. I feel old*
So today was his official birthday.. I thought about him all day long: praying for him, his decisions, and the future. Its hard to believe that 13 years have gone by. I remember the joy I felt when I had him. I remember feeling blessed & a sense of true love and overwhelming feeling of family... That joy & feeling has only intensified with each year. No matter whether it be a good or bad year - and even though I'm a single mom and their father is completely out of the picture - I still feel a deep and sincere sense of family and love.
As I prepare for bed, my mind is flooding with memories of him growing up - I can honestly say that it hasn't felt like 13 years have gone by. I certainly don't feel old enough to have a teenager.. *benefit of having my kids so young* I hope the next 13 years don't go by as quickly as these have.. I want to cherish every second I still have with my kiddos.
*sigh* my baby boy is growing up.. he's starting to mature into a young man.
Wednesday, September 28
Catching Up
Well - I can't believe it's 10 days since my last blog?! What?! I usually always have plenty to say--trust me!! This can't be right?! LOL
The weekend after my last blog I had off for the entire weekend and I spent it visiting with my friend Melissa (from www.lifewithlissy.com) at her house - decorating a float and participating in the Milton Harvest Festival parade. That was SOOO much fun! I dressed as a big banana. It was hilarious! It got people's attention. After church on Sunday, we all went up to Sullivan Co. to Melissa's dad's farm to harvest, wash, and grade pumpkins. THAT WAS THE MOST FUN EVER!!! I can't wait to do that again. I'm such a farm girl at heart :) I can thank my grandparents & mother for that.. I know I didn't get a chance to spend much time on their farms, but it's their stories-experiences-example that keep me leaning towards that way of life. I just love it!
***SIDE NOTE***
Another interesting thing happened that weekend.. while visiting a local store, I ran into a person that I know from working at Cole's. Got a chance to talk & catch up, but I was saddened to hear of some very troubling & sorrowful things happening in their life. I offered my phone number as a line of communication because naturally being the person I am & going thru what I've been thru-- I thought I could help. Everyday since then I've heard from this person via text and the conversation has been a much appreciated and a welcomed thing! The troublesome issues in their life have not changed one bit but I know that having someone to talk to helps, even if it just about what's on tv, what the evening plans are, and what's for supper.. I pray for the situation every day. God hears their cry. It weighs heavy on my heart. I've started to get to know this person much better and I am super glad for a new friendship. It gives me a chance to be a listener--something God knows I need help with--and a chance to use some of my experience and knowledge with someone and it's not a romantic relationship (*which can be so stressful*). I'm beginning to understand why God has placed me at Cole's Hardware and why I've not been able to move on - away from it.
Every day there is someone that comes in that needs prayer: sometimes it's a co-worker, sometimes it's a complete stranger... All I know is that I've been praying for others more and more with each day..
^^^^^Just yesterday - a retired teacher that I had in school came in. She is a woman that's never married. She's lived with her mother & taken care of her the entire time. Her mother's 94th birthday is on Friday. Her mother is getting weaker and weaker. I was saddened to hear of this & the stress that has been put upon her over the years while caring for her mother.. watching her progressively get worse. I told her that I would be remembering her & her mother in prayer.. *mind you- I had no idea what faith or religion (if any) that this woman believed in* HER FACE LIGHT UP LIKE CHRISTMAS MORNING! and she smiled at me in a way that she NEVER smiled at me before and said "Thank you. You can't understand how much I appreciate that." I COMPLETELY PRAISE AND THANK God for the ability to pray for her. This woman was a .. well.. let's just say.. she was a difficult educator. LOL Now as an adult, I can understand how & why she may have been so 'grumpy' especially during the years leading to her retirement.. and the stress she must have felt in & out of school. AND this experience was brought to me by my WONDERFUL & LOVING GOD and my job at Cole's... which HE granted me. ^^^^^^^ TOTALLY AWESOME!!!
I am fully comfortable with where I am-- EXCEPT--I've gotten out of the habit of a regular workout 8^( I don't know when it happened exactly, but it did. I indulge in soda (*more than I should*) and I haven't been on my bike *except to ride quickly to Sheetz & back* in almost 2 weeks. Tomorrow is Wednesday and so far all I've done this week was mow my yard & clean like a mad fiend around my place. I think Wednesday is a good day to get back on track. Granted, I've not been over eating or cheating with too many un-healthy choices in my diet, but still... I need to be more focused and dedicated to improving my all around general health & fitness. IMPROVE THE TEMPLE! preparing for battle & movement... God could lead me to the Congo someday and I want to be READY!!! LOL
SPEAKING OF CLEANING!!!! ......I have done wonders with my cleaning. I've downsized my cupboard clutter and a few issues in the kids' rooms. I'm hoping to start work on the closet in Lily's room this week AND finish up the outside pre-winter clean up and organization. I want to have an organized stack of firewood *for fall firepit season* and have the flower beds weeded and cut back etc etc. I got the bright idea that in the spring I'd like a veggie & herb garden & compost pile. We'll see if I can get it done.
As for other things, come the end of the week I'm expecting to OWN a washer & dryer for my place. The one I have now came with the place and broke almost .. eh.. over... well... about 2 years ago. Since then, I've been hand washing the clothes in the bathtub & a plastic tub etc.. and rinsing & wringing them out and hanging them to dry either on a clothes rack in the tub (on rainy days) or on the washline I built out back. *WHICH.. needs some 'tweeking' - I'd like to have 3 strings instead of two & I'd like to tighten them all up a bit & rearrange them* ANYWAY - my friend's mom is getting rid of her washer & dryer- I made an offer & that set is to arrive HOPEFULLY on Sunday afternoon 8^) I'm so blasted excited that I can't hardly contain myself. I've been without for so long-- I'm not going to know what to do with myself if I have a working washer & dryer and not have to work so hard for clean clothes! WOW!!!
Also, I came to the mind-set that this place could potentially be the last place I live for the rest of my life. Being as small as it is-that means some of this 'stuff' must go! With the huge flood that devastated all those people's homes and lives-- my "I'll just keep it in case I ever get a bigger place" stuff can be donated to help them out. This includes the clothing that my children and I can no longer wear. I'm pretty sure my closet, drawers, and storage will be emptied by the end of the month (October). I'm on a mission to completely get rid of every single shred of un-necessary items. The stuff I've kept at my parents from when I've moved various times & toys from when the kids were babies--it can all go! I want to keep just a few things for a 'memoir' type box or plastic tote. Something for me to go thru from time to time and remember things (good & bad). Everything else?! Eh.. it can go!
I know that the possibility of moving and owning my own bigger place is real. I am looking forward to that day--and want to move as little as possible if that happens. I do not want to continue to acquire a lot of "stuff" and have to move it all. Keeping it simple is a much more logical and practical way of life & thinking for me. *coming from a long line of hoarders & pack-rats.. yea.. I'd say that's progress*LOL
*********my last blog was about hearts.. and the matters thereof********** I wanted to follow up on that just a bit. Since writing that blog - I've had a completely change of attitude & way of thinking about being in a relationship and the question of whether I should still have hope or not.. my new motto for that:
I'm happy & blessed loving the Lord & if HE chooses to bring someone into my life great! if HE chooses not to bring someone into my life great! No matter what!!!!- I will love HIM and praise HIM and seek HIM.
Since that revelation-- inside me has awakened a small spark.. *where the dark cloud of worry & doubt once was*... I don't know what you want to call it.. hope? I'm not sure... but inside of me I hear "today could be the day"... and that's SO exciting! No matter what it means..
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY....... that Jesus returns for His children!
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY..... that God brings another person to me to pray for.
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY.... that I learn of something new to praise God for His wondrous works
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY....that I get to witness to someone that needs to hear God loves them.
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY..... that God brings another miracle or blessing into my life.
See what I mean?! I'm not usually at a loss for words.. LOL I told you at the beginning and it's true at the end.. I'm a talkative person & blessed that God made me that way. However, it's after midnight and I am satisfied w/ my 'catch up'.. I'll have to get back into the habit of more routine blogging.... LOL
The weekend after my last blog I had off for the entire weekend and I spent it visiting with my friend Melissa (from www.lifewithlissy.com) at her house - decorating a float and participating in the Milton Harvest Festival parade. That was SOOO much fun! I dressed as a big banana. It was hilarious! It got people's attention. After church on Sunday, we all went up to Sullivan Co. to Melissa's dad's farm to harvest, wash, and grade pumpkins. THAT WAS THE MOST FUN EVER!!! I can't wait to do that again. I'm such a farm girl at heart :) I can thank my grandparents & mother for that.. I know I didn't get a chance to spend much time on their farms, but it's their stories-experiences-example that keep me leaning towards that way of life. I just love it!
***SIDE NOTE***
Another interesting thing happened that weekend.. while visiting a local store, I ran into a person that I know from working at Cole's. Got a chance to talk & catch up, but I was saddened to hear of some very troubling & sorrowful things happening in their life. I offered my phone number as a line of communication because naturally being the person I am & going thru what I've been thru-- I thought I could help. Everyday since then I've heard from this person via text and the conversation has been a much appreciated and a welcomed thing! The troublesome issues in their life have not changed one bit but I know that having someone to talk to helps, even if it just about what's on tv, what the evening plans are, and what's for supper.. I pray for the situation every day. God hears their cry. It weighs heavy on my heart. I've started to get to know this person much better and I am super glad for a new friendship. It gives me a chance to be a listener--something God knows I need help with--and a chance to use some of my experience and knowledge with someone and it's not a romantic relationship (*which can be so stressful*). I'm beginning to understand why God has placed me at Cole's Hardware and why I've not been able to move on - away from it.
Every day there is someone that comes in that needs prayer: sometimes it's a co-worker, sometimes it's a complete stranger... All I know is that I've been praying for others more and more with each day..
^^^^^Just yesterday - a retired teacher that I had in school came in. She is a woman that's never married. She's lived with her mother & taken care of her the entire time. Her mother's 94th birthday is on Friday. Her mother is getting weaker and weaker. I was saddened to hear of this & the stress that has been put upon her over the years while caring for her mother.. watching her progressively get worse. I told her that I would be remembering her & her mother in prayer.. *mind you- I had no idea what faith or religion (if any) that this woman believed in* HER FACE LIGHT UP LIKE CHRISTMAS MORNING! and she smiled at me in a way that she NEVER smiled at me before and said "Thank you. You can't understand how much I appreciate that." I COMPLETELY PRAISE AND THANK God for the ability to pray for her. This woman was a .. well.. let's just say.. she was a difficult educator. LOL Now as an adult, I can understand how & why she may have been so 'grumpy' especially during the years leading to her retirement.. and the stress she must have felt in & out of school. AND this experience was brought to me by my WONDERFUL & LOVING GOD and my job at Cole's... which HE granted me. ^^^^^^^ TOTALLY AWESOME!!!
I am fully comfortable with where I am-- EXCEPT--I've gotten out of the habit of a regular workout 8^( I don't know when it happened exactly, but it did. I indulge in soda (*more than I should*) and I haven't been on my bike *except to ride quickly to Sheetz & back* in almost 2 weeks. Tomorrow is Wednesday and so far all I've done this week was mow my yard & clean like a mad fiend around my place. I think Wednesday is a good day to get back on track. Granted, I've not been over eating or cheating with too many un-healthy choices in my diet, but still... I need to be more focused and dedicated to improving my all around general health & fitness. IMPROVE THE TEMPLE! preparing for battle & movement... God could lead me to the Congo someday and I want to be READY!!! LOL
SPEAKING OF CLEANING!!!! ......I have done wonders with my cleaning. I've downsized my cupboard clutter and a few issues in the kids' rooms. I'm hoping to start work on the closet in Lily's room this week AND finish up the outside pre-winter clean up and organization. I want to have an organized stack of firewood *for fall firepit season* and have the flower beds weeded and cut back etc etc. I got the bright idea that in the spring I'd like a veggie & herb garden & compost pile. We'll see if I can get it done.
As for other things, come the end of the week I'm expecting to OWN a washer & dryer for my place. The one I have now came with the place and broke almost .. eh.. over... well... about 2 years ago. Since then, I've been hand washing the clothes in the bathtub & a plastic tub etc.. and rinsing & wringing them out and hanging them to dry either on a clothes rack in the tub (on rainy days) or on the washline I built out back. *WHICH.. needs some 'tweeking' - I'd like to have 3 strings instead of two & I'd like to tighten them all up a bit & rearrange them* ANYWAY - my friend's mom is getting rid of her washer & dryer- I made an offer & that set is to arrive HOPEFULLY on Sunday afternoon 8^) I'm so blasted excited that I can't hardly contain myself. I've been without for so long-- I'm not going to know what to do with myself if I have a working washer & dryer and not have to work so hard for clean clothes! WOW!!!
Also, I came to the mind-set that this place could potentially be the last place I live for the rest of my life. Being as small as it is-that means some of this 'stuff' must go! With the huge flood that devastated all those people's homes and lives-- my "I'll just keep it in case I ever get a bigger place" stuff can be donated to help them out. This includes the clothing that my children and I can no longer wear. I'm pretty sure my closet, drawers, and storage will be emptied by the end of the month (October). I'm on a mission to completely get rid of every single shred of un-necessary items. The stuff I've kept at my parents from when I've moved various times & toys from when the kids were babies--it can all go! I want to keep just a few things for a 'memoir' type box or plastic tote. Something for me to go thru from time to time and remember things (good & bad). Everything else?! Eh.. it can go!
I know that the possibility of moving and owning my own bigger place is real. I am looking forward to that day--and want to move as little as possible if that happens. I do not want to continue to acquire a lot of "stuff" and have to move it all. Keeping it simple is a much more logical and practical way of life & thinking for me. *coming from a long line of hoarders & pack-rats.. yea.. I'd say that's progress*LOL
*********my last blog was about hearts.. and the matters thereof********** I wanted to follow up on that just a bit. Since writing that blog - I've had a completely change of attitude & way of thinking about being in a relationship and the question of whether I should still have hope or not.. my new motto for that:
I'm happy & blessed loving the Lord & if HE chooses to bring someone into my life great! if HE chooses not to bring someone into my life great! No matter what!!!!- I will love HIM and praise HIM and seek HIM.
Since that revelation-- inside me has awakened a small spark.. *where the dark cloud of worry & doubt once was*... I don't know what you want to call it.. hope? I'm not sure... but inside of me I hear "today could be the day"... and that's SO exciting! No matter what it means..
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY....... that Jesus returns for His children!
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY..... that God brings another person to me to pray for.
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY.... that I learn of something new to praise God for His wondrous works
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY....that I get to witness to someone that needs to hear God loves them.
TODAY COULD BE THE DAY..... that God brings another miracle or blessing into my life.
See what I mean?! I'm not usually at a loss for words.. LOL I told you at the beginning and it's true at the end.. I'm a talkative person & blessed that God made me that way. However, it's after midnight and I am satisfied w/ my 'catch up'.. I'll have to get back into the habit of more routine blogging.... LOL
Thursday, September 15
Hearts
So.. I've been mulling a few things over in my mind the past few days. I couldn't get the right words, feelings, emotions, and make sense of anything enough to blog.. So.. today - it finally came to me...
Yesterday, while on a break, I was outside (*smoking - I know. I need to quit*) and in the beautiful blue sky was a puffy white cloud.. in the shape of a heart
After a long day at work - and the full moon in FULL swing! *effecting everyone's attitudes & the innuendos were flying ALL over the place* my heart was so heavy & I truly felt lonely. Lonelier than I've ever felt in the past 6 years. *AND that says alot!* I knew God was with me & that my relationship with Him has grown stronger & that I rely on Him for everything & He supplies what I need - when I need it. I honestly felt like crying out to Him "DEAR GOD, PLEASE BRING SOMEONE INTO MY LIFE." (*looking at this now I feel so silly! I have many great friends and a very loving family. I shouldn't feel lonely at all.*It's just not the same as sharing your life with someone- even if it's just dating, etc*) So last night before going to bed - a realization came over me. I know internally I have been hoping that God would shine down on my male companionship issues. I really started to believe that with everything I've gone through, survived, and learned from that God was telling me to forget about it. Give up hope on ever feeling TRUE love & trust for a man again. Depression lives there - feeling sorry for myself and feeling stupid for wasting those years on the ones that didn't work out - I started to analyze it inside myself - "maybe I'm not ready." - "maybe I'm not good enough for the one He's got picked out for me" - "it's better to be without than date the wrong one." etc etc blah blah blah blah *sigh* ENOUGH!!!! I actually spoke these words - "Hello God. I know you're just as tired of this issue as I am. I'm beyond sick of it - - I ask if you could quiet my mind - clarify it - make it crystal clear what YOUR will for me is. I admit I feel lonely, jealous, and sometimes angered by my friends & family that are successful in love. I ask for YOUR forgiveness. Please Lord, my heart is longing for something like I've never had before - in the best sense. I'm tired of feeling so guarded in my heart, afraid to open it up to people, and worry about who to trust & who not to trust - and the uncertainty of whether I'm ever going to be able to love again and be loved in return. I know that You know best for me & I ask You to OPEN my heart & allow me to see the positives instead of the negatives. I know that if I never find love again here on Earth - I will still love YOU! You are the one that holds my entire heart and if You don't want me to share it with anyone - I accept that. In Your Holy Name - Amen"
Last night, I had the STRANGEST of dreams. All my co-workers were in it - - I felt all warm & fuzzy and believe it or not I was actually in bed (*at my parents! HA HA*) and I was so full of laughter when I woke up - - in the dream my one co-worker was dressed in a WHITE RABBIT costume and hopped back & forth in front of the door of the bedroom where I was laying in - - saying "look at me, I'm ^insert other co-workers name here^!" I woke up laughing. As I walked across the alley to work, I started to feel tired... and a much more solemn feeling came over me. I started my work day like usual. Thanks to circumstances, I had an entire day where I could plug myself into inventory. *snooze* boring! *sigh* HOWEVER, in order to break up the boredom I was playing the satellite radio through the phone in the office.. EVERY time I was sitting in there - a song was playing on the radio that spoke to me - -
I Told You So by Carrie Underwood
You Need A Man Around Here by Brad Paisley
(this one cracks me up! it's how I feel sometimes that I need a man... )
Why Don't We Just Dance by Josh Turner
(because I'm a hopeless romantic - and that's the kind of man I would be interested in having-spontaneous)
Somewhere With You ??
(another hopeless romantic tune)
Got Whatever It Is by Zac Brown Band
I'll Be Just Fine ??
(about being fine w/out a man. picking up the pieces and starting over. Something I've done several times and would not care to do again.)
Someone Else Is Calling You Baby - ?
(again- finding love again? - and seeing it happen for an ex.(*which I did this week. I can't believe he is doing all the things he told me where DUMB and that he NEVER wanted to do again with someone. Amazing how meeting the right person can change someone's opinion on things?!*)
Lover, Lover ??
(another you've done me wrong song)
Didn't You Know - ??
(didn't you know how much I loved you? for the ones that I wanted to tell I have had a crush on them and didn't - -*sigh*)
Don't Think I Can't Love You - ??
(because I know that issue will come up - I know I'm ready to find love again if possible)
Would You Go With Me - ??
(would I go with you? yea - where are we going?! LOL)
Don't Ya Wanna Stay Awhile- ?
(many times I've asked - in hopes of 'yes I will stay awhile' and the hope that friendship turns to romance.. sadly for me.. it never did.)
Strange - Reba McEntire
(because it is strange.. after being with someone.. that empty feeling & the break in routine)
Making Me Fall In Love Again
(I don't know who it's by - but I plan on finding out. This one was the hardest one to take. **If I met the right someone - they would help me fall gracefully into love with them. right time, right place, right person.** WOW!!!)
This has been a heavy subject ALL week. I saw a good friend & regular customer. He approached me AGAIN with a situation (involving the potential for romance) with a relative of his. I told him that I stopped working & worrying on it.. His face was sad. He said, "there's no excuse for that." and I smiled and told him that I'll think about it. I finally came to grips with my inner most thoughts - whether I lose weight or not makes no difference - it's the kind of person I am that a man should be attracted to. So I took a good look at myself, my hobbies, my likes & dislikes.. and I found no reason why - with God's blessing - I couldn't find love somewhere along the line. Just this week- an old 'flame' - was posting pics on FB of him & his new girlfriend & how 'in love' they are - - felt a sting (*even though I know now that seeing him was not my best idea*) that he was doing all those things I thought were great (*which he belittled & refused to do with me*). I wish him luck. I hope it works out. *grumble grumble grumble* I have to stop that. It is nice that his life has turned around and that he is happy & can freely be in a relationship with someone. *grumble grumble grumble* Then there was the number of people that were celebrating anniversaries - announcing new loves - and etc etc. Several posts on Facebook appeared that dealt with matters of the heart. I was surrounded in it!! YIKES!
I'd like to think that this situation is coming to a close. I feel more at peace with this than ever. I'm still a little lonely & *God forgive me* a little worried.. I stress out over feeling like I'm un-loveable. It is upsetting. I know God is in control and that *IF IT'S HIS WILL* it will happen...
Even tonight - - I received a text (a forwarded one) from a friend... and it reads...
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did." When God takes something from your grasp He is not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better." - - and I thought - - Well.. for every year I've been single and waiting - - IF He brings a man into my life - - he is going to be SPECTACULAR! and I can't wait to meet him.
Yesterday, while on a break, I was outside (*smoking - I know. I need to quit*) and in the beautiful blue sky was a puffy white cloud.. in the shape of a heart
 | |
| Symbol of love floating by |
Last night, I had the STRANGEST of dreams. All my co-workers were in it - - I felt all warm & fuzzy and believe it or not I was actually in bed (*at my parents! HA HA*) and I was so full of laughter when I woke up - - in the dream my one co-worker was dressed in a WHITE RABBIT costume and hopped back & forth in front of the door of the bedroom where I was laying in - - saying "look at me, I'm ^insert other co-workers name here^!" I woke up laughing. As I walked across the alley to work, I started to feel tired... and a much more solemn feeling came over me. I started my work day like usual. Thanks to circumstances, I had an entire day where I could plug myself into inventory. *snooze* boring! *sigh* HOWEVER, in order to break up the boredom I was playing the satellite radio through the phone in the office.. EVERY time I was sitting in there - a song was playing on the radio that spoke to me - -
I Told You So by Carrie Underwood
You Need A Man Around Here by Brad Paisley
(this one cracks me up! it's how I feel sometimes that I need a man... )
Why Don't We Just Dance by Josh Turner
(because I'm a hopeless romantic - and that's the kind of man I would be interested in having-spontaneous)
Somewhere With You ??
(another hopeless romantic tune)
Got Whatever It Is by Zac Brown Band
I'll Be Just Fine ??
(about being fine w/out a man. picking up the pieces and starting over. Something I've done several times and would not care to do again.)
Someone Else Is Calling You Baby - ?
(again- finding love again? - and seeing it happen for an ex.(*which I did this week. I can't believe he is doing all the things he told me where DUMB and that he NEVER wanted to do again with someone. Amazing how meeting the right person can change someone's opinion on things?!*)
Lover, Lover ??
(another you've done me wrong song)
Didn't You Know - ??
(didn't you know how much I loved you? for the ones that I wanted to tell I have had a crush on them and didn't - -*sigh*)
Don't Think I Can't Love You - ??
(because I know that issue will come up - I know I'm ready to find love again if possible)
Would You Go With Me - ??
(would I go with you? yea - where are we going?! LOL)
Don't Ya Wanna Stay Awhile- ?
(many times I've asked - in hopes of 'yes I will stay awhile' and the hope that friendship turns to romance.. sadly for me.. it never did.)
Strange - Reba McEntire
(because it is strange.. after being with someone.. that empty feeling & the break in routine)
Making Me Fall In Love Again
(I don't know who it's by - but I plan on finding out. This one was the hardest one to take. **If I met the right someone - they would help me fall gracefully into love with them. right time, right place, right person.** WOW!!!)
This has been a heavy subject ALL week. I saw a good friend & regular customer. He approached me AGAIN with a situation (involving the potential for romance) with a relative of his. I told him that I stopped working & worrying on it.. His face was sad. He said, "there's no excuse for that." and I smiled and told him that I'll think about it. I finally came to grips with my inner most thoughts - whether I lose weight or not makes no difference - it's the kind of person I am that a man should be attracted to. So I took a good look at myself, my hobbies, my likes & dislikes.. and I found no reason why - with God's blessing - I couldn't find love somewhere along the line. Just this week- an old 'flame' - was posting pics on FB of him & his new girlfriend & how 'in love' they are - - felt a sting (*even though I know now that seeing him was not my best idea*) that he was doing all those things I thought were great (*which he belittled & refused to do with me*). I wish him luck. I hope it works out. *grumble grumble grumble* I have to stop that. It is nice that his life has turned around and that he is happy & can freely be in a relationship with someone. *grumble grumble grumble* Then there was the number of people that were celebrating anniversaries - announcing new loves - and etc etc. Several posts on Facebook appeared that dealt with matters of the heart. I was surrounded in it!! YIKES!
I'd like to think that this situation is coming to a close. I feel more at peace with this than ever. I'm still a little lonely & *God forgive me* a little worried.. I stress out over feeling like I'm un-loveable. It is upsetting. I know God is in control and that *IF IT'S HIS WILL* it will happen...
Even tonight - - I received a text (a forwarded one) from a friend... and it reads...
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did." When God takes something from your grasp He is not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better." - - and I thought - - Well.. for every year I've been single and waiting - - IF He brings a man into my life - - he is going to be SPECTACULAR! and I can't wait to meet him.
Saturday, September 10
Hmm.. a blog? Ok - I got it!!
Today was a full day at work. I began my day at 7am and did a lot of inventory today. I got to the hardest part -- keys. *ugh* It was tedious, but I got it done. What hindered me the most today was being interrupted by customers. Time was flying by so quickly that my head was nearly spinning.
Around mid-way through my key inventory and I heard a jovial & familiar voice! Jerry.. a semi-regular customer with whom I've shared my weight loss success with every so often. He's co-owner of a company that makes dehydrated fruit snacks for active lifestyles. It is called TRYCHIPS. He gave me his business card some time ago, but I had forgotten all about it. It was good to see him! Today - he came bearing gifts. THREE bags of his dehydrated chips. I was making him a copy of a key when another local customer came by and they started to talking. Somehow, Jerry turned the conversation to me & my weight loss. He said, "You should talk to her about it.. she's lost 37 lbs." and I laughed.. "Jerry, it's up to 47 lbs now. ha ha" and his jaw about hit the floor! I walked over to them and luckily I was wearing pants that I used to completely fill out and I stood there PROUDLY showing how my pants are barely hanging on me anymore and the way my thighs no longer FILL out the jeans. It made me feel good.
I ended up taking a brief break shortly after they left & we had finished up our conversation.. My eyes glanced at the bags Jerry brought for me. Curiosity got the best of me. I opened the bag and my nose filled with a delicious aroma of several different delicious fruit smells. The bag I opened is called the ASPIRE bag, including the fruits: apple, apricot, pineapple, banana, and pomegranate. I started to munch. HOLY CRAP! My mouth filled with the most delicious and refreshing snack I've had in a long time! The best thing about these snacks -- ONLY 100 CALORIES PER BAG! and they are nearly the size of a MiddlesWarth chip bag! YUM YUM!!! I suggest you check them out for yourself! www.trychips.com It's truly amazing! I can't wait to stock up on these yummy LOCAL snacks and include them in my routine diet / workout!
I've recently been in a rut with my diet & exercise. This Thursday's weigh in was a gain of 2.5 lbs. I've been in 'fasting mode' since drinking a lot of water to shed the water weight. I haven't done a lengthy workout in almost a week. The rain dampened my bike rides. I just didn't feel like working out around the children. I did walk and do a minor bike ride last week. I believe it was ... Tuesday? It was only 3 or 4 miles if I remember correctly.
I finished work on a high note! I felt awesome. I knew I had to get back into the swing of my workouts, etc. My calorie intakes have been fine but I haven't been working out with it so I fear that I will lose momentum. I couldn't let it go another day. I hopped on my bike right after work and managed to ride just over 3 miles tonight!! It felt great!!! I just wish I could have gone further and longer.
Shortly after finishing my workout my Mom picked me up to spend some time w/ them in Vicksburg. I did eat 2 small pieces of pizza-which were yummy. I sprinkled them with hot peppers and garlic to aid in digestion. If you put them together they would equal one full slice. I was proud of myself. I didn't pig out and I felt great! If I would have had a flashlight I probably could have walked or jogged home.
I am glad to be back on track. I can't wait for Thursday's weigh in! I hope to see those last 3 lbs gone!!!! That would bring me up to a grand total of 50lbs lost! It's so exciting! Then it's just another 40lb by Christmas! I can do it! I will do it! God will grant me the determination and willpower - like HE has been the last few months! I have faith in HIM. HE has faith in me! I can do it!
I would post a before and after picture, but I think in order to see that best you should go to my friend - and inspiration - www.lifewithlissy.com to see the blog she did on me. She says I'm one of the people that inspire her... when in fact, she inspires me. She never quits. I can't wait to see her this weekend... coming.. at the Milton Harvest Festival! It is going to be AWESOME!
Around mid-way through my key inventory and I heard a jovial & familiar voice! Jerry.. a semi-regular customer with whom I've shared my weight loss success with every so often. He's co-owner of a company that makes dehydrated fruit snacks for active lifestyles. It is called TRYCHIPS. He gave me his business card some time ago, but I had forgotten all about it. It was good to see him! Today - he came bearing gifts. THREE bags of his dehydrated chips. I was making him a copy of a key when another local customer came by and they started to talking. Somehow, Jerry turned the conversation to me & my weight loss. He said, "You should talk to her about it.. she's lost 37 lbs." and I laughed.. "Jerry, it's up to 47 lbs now. ha ha" and his jaw about hit the floor! I walked over to them and luckily I was wearing pants that I used to completely fill out and I stood there PROUDLY showing how my pants are barely hanging on me anymore and the way my thighs no longer FILL out the jeans. It made me feel good.
I ended up taking a brief break shortly after they left & we had finished up our conversation.. My eyes glanced at the bags Jerry brought for me. Curiosity got the best of me. I opened the bag and my nose filled with a delicious aroma of several different delicious fruit smells. The bag I opened is called the ASPIRE bag, including the fruits: apple, apricot, pineapple, banana, and pomegranate. I started to munch. HOLY CRAP! My mouth filled with the most delicious and refreshing snack I've had in a long time! The best thing about these snacks -- ONLY 100 CALORIES PER BAG! and they are nearly the size of a MiddlesWarth chip bag! YUM YUM!!! I suggest you check them out for yourself! www.trychips.com It's truly amazing! I can't wait to stock up on these yummy LOCAL snacks and include them in my routine diet / workout!
I've recently been in a rut with my diet & exercise. This Thursday's weigh in was a gain of 2.5 lbs. I've been in 'fasting mode' since drinking a lot of water to shed the water weight. I haven't done a lengthy workout in almost a week. The rain dampened my bike rides. I just didn't feel like working out around the children. I did walk and do a minor bike ride last week. I believe it was ... Tuesday? It was only 3 or 4 miles if I remember correctly.
I finished work on a high note! I felt awesome. I knew I had to get back into the swing of my workouts, etc. My calorie intakes have been fine but I haven't been working out with it so I fear that I will lose momentum. I couldn't let it go another day. I hopped on my bike right after work and managed to ride just over 3 miles tonight!! It felt great!!! I just wish I could have gone further and longer.
Shortly after finishing my workout my Mom picked me up to spend some time w/ them in Vicksburg. I did eat 2 small pieces of pizza-which were yummy. I sprinkled them with hot peppers and garlic to aid in digestion. If you put them together they would equal one full slice. I was proud of myself. I didn't pig out and I felt great! If I would have had a flashlight I probably could have walked or jogged home.
I am glad to be back on track. I can't wait for Thursday's weigh in! I hope to see those last 3 lbs gone!!!! That would bring me up to a grand total of 50lbs lost! It's so exciting! Then it's just another 40lb by Christmas! I can do it! I will do it! God will grant me the determination and willpower - like HE has been the last few months! I have faith in HIM. HE has faith in me! I can do it!
I would post a before and after picture, but I think in order to see that best you should go to my friend - and inspiration - www.lifewithlissy.com to see the blog she did on me. She says I'm one of the people that inspire her... when in fact, she inspires me. She never quits. I can't wait to see her this weekend... coming.. at the Milton Harvest Festival! It is going to be AWESOME!
Friday, September 9
No Ambition & Mixed Emotions
Today began with confusion and ended w/ depression, sadness, and confusion.
Walked the kids to school today - even though B98.3 said there wasn't any?! It was confusing. Took Lily to the nurses office and of course she found a few eggs on her head and wouldn't let her back to class. *sigh* So I brought Lily home, picked her head and she & I settled in for tv and relaxation. I called the nurse to see if I could bring her back and she said no. I had spoken to a secretary in the office to see if Lily's teachers could get some work together for her to do over the weekend so she can catch up. That didn't happen and I'm not terribly surprised though.
Good news! Denise was released to go back to her house & nothing was destroyed! That was awesome to hear. Unfortunately I opened my big fat mouth and ended up freaking her mother out (*bawling and screaming at Denise thanks to me*) because their house is gone! everything ruined. They are planning on living in their camper (seasonal home) behind Mifflinburg while the repairs and renovations are being made to their place. I mentioned that the creek back there sometimes floods also and wondered if they checked how bad it got out there. Of course, that set into motion a chain of events that I feel so badly about that I wish I could snap my fingers and take it back. Poor Denise. Her mother apparently bawled and screamed at her for a while. I did my best to find out what was going on there and found that no one said anything was damaged. I just couldn't do it fast enough. It's no wonder the parents of my friends usually hate me. I really wish I had just kept my BIG FAT MOUTH shut. It's a wonder I even have any friends any more w/ the way I stick my foot in my mouth all the time.
So, around 1pm I ended snapping at a friend of mine's post because I thought he was saying "thank you" to my going to bed because he was annoyed with my many posts on Facebook. Another foot in my mouth. He called me and set me straight. Part of me was thinking that he was feeding me that just make me feel bad, but he did make a rational & understandable point.
I couldn't take it anymore. I curled up on the couch and took a nap. Dreamed a strange dream that felt so real. Woke up just in time to go for Daniel at school. We returned home and I went straight back to the couch. I let the kids snack & watch TV while I lay there on my fat, lazy a** feeling sorry, sad, tired, and depressed.
I got up with just enough ambition to put together a quick & easy supper. Boiled some whole wheat egg noodles, drained the water - tossed in some "butter" and a little skim milk - some powdered cheddar cheese and sprinkled with grated parmesan cheese. Kids ate it up like crazy! I ate my serving and stopped. I did indulge in a snack - choc chip cookie dough pop tart and washed down with some skim milk. After supper I couldn't stand it. I was feeling fat, lazy and stupid - - I grabbed the mower and got the lawn mowed. I should have raked up the clippings but I didn't feel like it. Came into the house and logged on Facebook and made a few apologies and deleted a post of two just to be on the safe side not to step on anyone's feelings.
It wasn't long after that my mom sent me a text that she was coming for the kids. I managed to wash & dry a load of sheets & blankets. I have a load of colored wash soaking right now and I will use a lantern - go out back and hang them. You see.. I've been living the super simple life for some time now. My washer and dryer unit broke over two years ago. I've been hand washing the clothes & hanging them to dry in the bathtub. Then I built a clothesline out back (*which I must add needs redone*) and that has been a blessing. It makes it difficult sometimes because I have to depend on the weather and I wait longer for things to dry sometimes.
Oh and I should mention - that lawn mower is a push mower. My push mower with a motor on it quit working on me earlier this year. I had it torn apart several times. A few things were fixed on it but it still remains unused: doesn't start, doesn't work and makes up some of the clutter in my carport. My new lawn mower is a system of blades, like a combine; and they rotate - - a reel mower. I get a lot of strange looks and even some comments sometimes, but it's all I have and I use it. The lifestyle I've been living here is actually turning 'greener' than I ever imagined. I'm currently plotting where to place my garden I want to plant next year. I don't need something huge, but I do want a raised garden with good soil. I'll plant lettuce, peppers, cucumbers, and green beans and maybe even a little corn. It would be nice to have a watermelon patch & maybe even a small pumpkin & squash patch too. Oh! and eggplant would be great! and beets..We'll see.. I just wish I still lived in the country where I could burn my trash, have a huge compost heap, a few animals, and more room for the lifestyle that I prefer to live. It's so stifling living in town, by myself, without a bedroom of my own etc etc etc.. I don't own a car any more and I really wish that if I had the room & permission - I would buy a horse or at least a pony w/ a cart to get around places. *sigh* I dream of these things and God knows my hearts desire. I ask him for forgiveness for the distraction and for feeling low about not being able to be the person I feel I'm supposed to be..
Another one of my friends got married today. She looked beautiful! Happy! and I pray for her success & the best of years to come! Feel a little bittersweet about it - - As I mowed the yard I heard / started listing all the things about me that I feel keep me from being able to find someone. It's rather disheartening. I pray God forgives me for those thoughts and that he helps take those feelings away. I dislike feeling unwanted. It's a nasty place to be when you're working - alone - Don't get me wrong I don't want to find someone to do things for me - I just want to find someone to share in these things with me. Even if it's just to visit with me while I'm weeding my garden or be in the dining room while I'm canning those lovely veggies etc. I would like to find what I've always wanted: someone to share everything with - like my best friend/ someone I can trust & rely on (if I need to but would not do unless necessary) - someone that would hold a equal (for the most part) relationship that would be interested in my passions and I in his.. that's not too much to ask, is it?!
Walked the kids to school today - even though B98.3 said there wasn't any?! It was confusing. Took Lily to the nurses office and of course she found a few eggs on her head and wouldn't let her back to class. *sigh* So I brought Lily home, picked her head and she & I settled in for tv and relaxation. I called the nurse to see if I could bring her back and she said no. I had spoken to a secretary in the office to see if Lily's teachers could get some work together for her to do over the weekend so she can catch up. That didn't happen and I'm not terribly surprised though.
Good news! Denise was released to go back to her house & nothing was destroyed! That was awesome to hear. Unfortunately I opened my big fat mouth and ended up freaking her mother out (*bawling and screaming at Denise thanks to me*) because their house is gone! everything ruined. They are planning on living in their camper (seasonal home) behind Mifflinburg while the repairs and renovations are being made to their place. I mentioned that the creek back there sometimes floods also and wondered if they checked how bad it got out there. Of course, that set into motion a chain of events that I feel so badly about that I wish I could snap my fingers and take it back. Poor Denise. Her mother apparently bawled and screamed at her for a while. I did my best to find out what was going on there and found that no one said anything was damaged. I just couldn't do it fast enough. It's no wonder the parents of my friends usually hate me. I really wish I had just kept my BIG FAT MOUTH shut. It's a wonder I even have any friends any more w/ the way I stick my foot in my mouth all the time.
So, around 1pm I ended snapping at a friend of mine's post because I thought he was saying "thank you" to my going to bed because he was annoyed with my many posts on Facebook. Another foot in my mouth. He called me and set me straight. Part of me was thinking that he was feeding me that just make me feel bad, but he did make a rational & understandable point.
I couldn't take it anymore. I curled up on the couch and took a nap. Dreamed a strange dream that felt so real. Woke up just in time to go for Daniel at school. We returned home and I went straight back to the couch. I let the kids snack & watch TV while I lay there on my fat, lazy a** feeling sorry, sad, tired, and depressed.
I got up with just enough ambition to put together a quick & easy supper. Boiled some whole wheat egg noodles, drained the water - tossed in some "butter" and a little skim milk - some powdered cheddar cheese and sprinkled with grated parmesan cheese. Kids ate it up like crazy! I ate my serving and stopped. I did indulge in a snack - choc chip cookie dough pop tart and washed down with some skim milk. After supper I couldn't stand it. I was feeling fat, lazy and stupid - - I grabbed the mower and got the lawn mowed. I should have raked up the clippings but I didn't feel like it. Came into the house and logged on Facebook and made a few apologies and deleted a post of two just to be on the safe side not to step on anyone's feelings.
It wasn't long after that my mom sent me a text that she was coming for the kids. I managed to wash & dry a load of sheets & blankets. I have a load of colored wash soaking right now and I will use a lantern - go out back and hang them. You see.. I've been living the super simple life for some time now. My washer and dryer unit broke over two years ago. I've been hand washing the clothes & hanging them to dry in the bathtub. Then I built a clothesline out back (*which I must add needs redone*) and that has been a blessing. It makes it difficult sometimes because I have to depend on the weather and I wait longer for things to dry sometimes.
Oh and I should mention - that lawn mower is a push mower. My push mower with a motor on it quit working on me earlier this year. I had it torn apart several times. A few things were fixed on it but it still remains unused: doesn't start, doesn't work and makes up some of the clutter in my carport. My new lawn mower is a system of blades, like a combine; and they rotate - - a reel mower. I get a lot of strange looks and even some comments sometimes, but it's all I have and I use it. The lifestyle I've been living here is actually turning 'greener' than I ever imagined. I'm currently plotting where to place my garden I want to plant next year. I don't need something huge, but I do want a raised garden with good soil. I'll plant lettuce, peppers, cucumbers, and green beans and maybe even a little corn. It would be nice to have a watermelon patch & maybe even a small pumpkin & squash patch too. Oh! and eggplant would be great! and beets..We'll see.. I just wish I still lived in the country where I could burn my trash, have a huge compost heap, a few animals, and more room for the lifestyle that I prefer to live. It's so stifling living in town, by myself, without a bedroom of my own etc etc etc.. I don't own a car any more and I really wish that if I had the room & permission - I would buy a horse or at least a pony w/ a cart to get around places. *sigh* I dream of these things and God knows my hearts desire. I ask him for forgiveness for the distraction and for feeling low about not being able to be the person I feel I'm supposed to be..
Another one of my friends got married today. She looked beautiful! Happy! and I pray for her success & the best of years to come! Feel a little bittersweet about it - - As I mowed the yard I heard / started listing all the things about me that I feel keep me from being able to find someone. It's rather disheartening. I pray God forgives me for those thoughts and that he helps take those feelings away. I dislike feeling unwanted. It's a nasty place to be when you're working - alone - Don't get me wrong I don't want to find someone to do things for me - I just want to find someone to share in these things with me. Even if it's just to visit with me while I'm weeding my garden or be in the dining room while I'm canning those lovely veggies etc. I would like to find what I've always wanted: someone to share everything with - like my best friend/ someone I can trust & rely on (if I need to but would not do unless necessary) - someone that would hold a equal (for the most part) relationship that would be interested in my passions and I in his.. that's not too much to ask, is it?!
Wednesday, September 7
Deeds
1 Timothy Chapter 6 verse 18 & 19
"Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for that time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life." NKJV
Today began as any other normal day. RAIN. harbored ideas of building an ark. HA HA!! Work was crazy! The computers were down and we had to total every bill / calculate by hand. I'm ok with that sort of thing though - it reminds me of my great-grandparents & the ledgers they used to keep for their store. One customer today said "what a pain in the butt that has to be!" I replied, "I look at it this way, it keeps me grounded in the basics and humble - - thankful for technology when it works." He got a great smile on his face. It was nice in the sea of panicked people rushing in for sump pumps. Heard numerous stories over the course of the day that touched my heart in so many ways it was unreal! People that have NEVER had water in their FINISHED basements were now dealing with (not just inches) but FEET of water - - *sigh* and the sump pumps weren't keeping up with the water coming in. Breaks my heart! A good reason to pray!!!
I was particularly praying for some friends of mine - their house is basically a shell of what a house is supposed to be. They have to collect the water as it runs down the walls, etc.. It's a shame too because the family has been through a lot over the last few years. They deserve better AND they are one of the kindest families you could meet. So.. as I mentioned to a friend to help pray for them a customer overheard and said "are they really in need?!" I replied, "yes, you can't get much more in need than they currently are." He handed me his business card (construction) told me to have them call him, because his church funds repairs / construction for families in need (locally). I almost started to bawl. I hugged him! thanked him over and over and immediately passed the message along. I sincerely pray that this is a worth while avenue for this family! It's amazing how our God works and the possibilities that might be available that we wouldn't think are possible. Simply because I asked a friend to help me pray for their well being during this rainy week.. and people say that God isn't watching or listening?!
Oh! then!!! I got a phone call from a friend & fellow co-worker that the school was closing early. I am glad she called me or else I wouldn't have known! A huge!!! thanks to her or else it could have been a major issue today!!! She's such a dear heart & I know why God has placed her in my life. Luckily my Mom's school had already let out early & she was home to collect Daniel off the bus.
Meanwhile, I was busy running back / forth in the store w/ various tasks and around the corner came my friend Melissa from www.lifewithlissy.com!! It was good to see her! She looked GREAT! This morning was her interview on B98.3FM ! I heard that it went GREAT!!! I'm so proud of her and her blog & the great things she's been doing! God has truly blessed me with a friend like her. Inspiring me in so many ways!!! I pray for her success! Currently, she's collecting blog followers for more giveaways & more! I pray for her everyday and try to help as much as possible. God placed upon my heart to start petitioning / mentioning her name on several radio station pages on Facebook and emails etc.. B98.3 FM was the first (and only) to respond to me to ask her to appear. I'm praying the others will hear how great she did on today's show and will ask her to appear on their stations as well. Anyone with suggestions / ideas & phone numbers, contacts, etc.. I'd be GLAD to pass them along to her!! She's an amazing wife, mother, and friend/sister!
And the day continued....
The computers began to work and the day took a turn towards normal - but very busy - I started back into inventory. I was continuously interrupted by customers & phone calls. It was a bit hectic. One customer in particular needed two sump pumps. He's a disabled man and called ahead and reserved them. He called back, asking for me by name - requesting they be delivered if possible. Believe or not, it was possible. So, time drew closer to when my co-worker (whom gracious agreed to run it out to him) was getting prepared to leave - the customer called again. This time he requested TWO 100 lb filled propane cylinders to be added to his list to be delivered. I didn't hesitate in saying yes. He needed them. I hurriedly set that into motion. I, again, returned to inventory. The customer called again.. this time w/ instructions on where he wanted my co-worker to pull into his driveway, closest to the basement etc etc.. I rushed out to catch my co-worker and explain this to him. Some where in between that & returning to inventory.. it was brought to my attention that I should have obtained permission for the delivery of the tanks in addition to the sump pumps. I agreed, but felt badly because I didn't mean to mess up and got caught up in the NEED of the customer (*and the addition of the tanks meant a $700 order for us today*). I returned to inventory - fuming a little - swallowing my hurt & asking God to help me to clear my mind & focus on the inventory & stop feeling hurt. I later realized with the hectic day we were having that I needed to forgive myself and my co-workers (especially if we were snipping at each other a little) because we were super super busy & it was stressing for all of us. I'm sure my customer was completely satisfied w/ our customer service and will say many good things about our friendly deed. In the end, that's what matters.
A little while later, the phone rang at work again and from behind me (*while doing inventory*) I heard "ohh April. oh buddy oh pal" HA HA I laughed. It was the boss.. and I KNEW what he was going to ask.. My co-worker (night cashier) was due to come in shortly and I had a feeling I was going to be asked to stay. HA HA and that is EXACTLY what it was HA HA It was better / safer that she stay home & since I live next door - it was just logical that I stay. Luckily it was a good night & I could stay. I am glad for her decision to stay safe & NOT try to make it in and I was more than happy to help. Besides, I had just been off for a week and she & the other cashiers covered for me during that time. I wouldn't dare say no.
Had I not stayed - I would not have gotten the inspiration for this blog. I witnessed so many different DEEDS today & the effect they have - - the example they show. I think it shows great character in a person that someone can rely on you for a favor or friendly deed - - and that you act upon it w/out questioning - - especially if that person is one that has hurt you deeply. I witnessed that today also. I felt a little strange at first, but then realized.. how trustworthy this person must be that even though life is taking these two people in different directions - that one can still rely on the other for a favor. WOW!!! I think it also shows that the person that did the hurting could see who to trust. Just as an example.. I truly screwed up during my second marriage. I hurt that man in ways that to SOME would be unforgivable (*just ask his mother LOL*).. Still to this day, I know that if I needed something I could call on him (*or even his wife*) and they would be willing to help. Heck - you should have seen some of the looks I received when I was seen w/ him & his wife & little boy while visiting / talking at the carnival! HA HA The idea that we've both moved on - forgiven each other - and found a friendship that can withstand the pain we caused for ourselves & our family should be an example to others.. I am glad that God enabled us to have peace between each other. It's a mighty AWESOME feeling to know that God is still the healer of ALL kinds of wounds, especially when you're receptive to Him.
The rest of the night went well. We got numerous phone calls asking for sump pumps. Sadly, we ran out! The night went quickly though because the crew was getting along so well and customers were coming / going steadily. It didn't seem like long at all. I got home and called my parents to bring the kids down. It wasn't long before it was bedtime. The kids made it into bed on time and I settled into the quiet of the house to reflect on the day...
"Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for that time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life." NKJV
Today began as any other normal day. RAIN. harbored ideas of building an ark. HA HA!! Work was crazy! The computers were down and we had to total every bill / calculate by hand. I'm ok with that sort of thing though - it reminds me of my great-grandparents & the ledgers they used to keep for their store. One customer today said "what a pain in the butt that has to be!" I replied, "I look at it this way, it keeps me grounded in the basics and humble - - thankful for technology when it works." He got a great smile on his face. It was nice in the sea of panicked people rushing in for sump pumps. Heard numerous stories over the course of the day that touched my heart in so many ways it was unreal! People that have NEVER had water in their FINISHED basements were now dealing with (not just inches) but FEET of water - - *sigh* and the sump pumps weren't keeping up with the water coming in. Breaks my heart! A good reason to pray!!!
I was particularly praying for some friends of mine - their house is basically a shell of what a house is supposed to be. They have to collect the water as it runs down the walls, etc.. It's a shame too because the family has been through a lot over the last few years. They deserve better AND they are one of the kindest families you could meet. So.. as I mentioned to a friend to help pray for them a customer overheard and said "are they really in need?!" I replied, "yes, you can't get much more in need than they currently are." He handed me his business card (construction) told me to have them call him, because his church funds repairs / construction for families in need (locally). I almost started to bawl. I hugged him! thanked him over and over and immediately passed the message along. I sincerely pray that this is a worth while avenue for this family! It's amazing how our God works and the possibilities that might be available that we wouldn't think are possible. Simply because I asked a friend to help me pray for their well being during this rainy week.. and people say that God isn't watching or listening?!
Oh! then!!! I got a phone call from a friend & fellow co-worker that the school was closing early. I am glad she called me or else I wouldn't have known! A huge!!! thanks to her or else it could have been a major issue today!!! She's such a dear heart & I know why God has placed her in my life. Luckily my Mom's school had already let out early & she was home to collect Daniel off the bus.
Meanwhile, I was busy running back / forth in the store w/ various tasks and around the corner came my friend Melissa from www.lifewithlissy.com!! It was good to see her! She looked GREAT! This morning was her interview on B98.3FM ! I heard that it went GREAT!!! I'm so proud of her and her blog & the great things she's been doing! God has truly blessed me with a friend like her. Inspiring me in so many ways!!! I pray for her success! Currently, she's collecting blog followers for more giveaways & more! I pray for her everyday and try to help as much as possible. God placed upon my heart to start petitioning / mentioning her name on several radio station pages on Facebook and emails etc.. B98.3 FM was the first (and only) to respond to me to ask her to appear. I'm praying the others will hear how great she did on today's show and will ask her to appear on their stations as well. Anyone with suggestions / ideas & phone numbers, contacts, etc.. I'd be GLAD to pass them along to her!! She's an amazing wife, mother, and friend/sister!
And the day continued....
The computers began to work and the day took a turn towards normal - but very busy - I started back into inventory. I was continuously interrupted by customers & phone calls. It was a bit hectic. One customer in particular needed two sump pumps. He's a disabled man and called ahead and reserved them. He called back, asking for me by name - requesting they be delivered if possible. Believe or not, it was possible. So, time drew closer to when my co-worker (whom gracious agreed to run it out to him) was getting prepared to leave - the customer called again. This time he requested TWO 100 lb filled propane cylinders to be added to his list to be delivered. I didn't hesitate in saying yes. He needed them. I hurriedly set that into motion. I, again, returned to inventory. The customer called again.. this time w/ instructions on where he wanted my co-worker to pull into his driveway, closest to the basement etc etc.. I rushed out to catch my co-worker and explain this to him. Some where in between that & returning to inventory.. it was brought to my attention that I should have obtained permission for the delivery of the tanks in addition to the sump pumps. I agreed, but felt badly because I didn't mean to mess up and got caught up in the NEED of the customer (*and the addition of the tanks meant a $700 order for us today*). I returned to inventory - fuming a little - swallowing my hurt & asking God to help me to clear my mind & focus on the inventory & stop feeling hurt. I later realized with the hectic day we were having that I needed to forgive myself and my co-workers (especially if we were snipping at each other a little) because we were super super busy & it was stressing for all of us. I'm sure my customer was completely satisfied w/ our customer service and will say many good things about our friendly deed. In the end, that's what matters.
A little while later, the phone rang at work again and from behind me (*while doing inventory*) I heard "ohh April. oh buddy oh pal" HA HA I laughed. It was the boss.. and I KNEW what he was going to ask.. My co-worker (night cashier) was due to come in shortly and I had a feeling I was going to be asked to stay. HA HA and that is EXACTLY what it was HA HA It was better / safer that she stay home & since I live next door - it was just logical that I stay. Luckily it was a good night & I could stay. I am glad for her decision to stay safe & NOT try to make it in and I was more than happy to help. Besides, I had just been off for a week and she & the other cashiers covered for me during that time. I wouldn't dare say no.
Had I not stayed - I would not have gotten the inspiration for this blog. I witnessed so many different DEEDS today & the effect they have - - the example they show. I think it shows great character in a person that someone can rely on you for a favor or friendly deed - - and that you act upon it w/out questioning - - especially if that person is one that has hurt you deeply. I witnessed that today also. I felt a little strange at first, but then realized.. how trustworthy this person must be that even though life is taking these two people in different directions - that one can still rely on the other for a favor. WOW!!! I think it also shows that the person that did the hurting could see who to trust. Just as an example.. I truly screwed up during my second marriage. I hurt that man in ways that to SOME would be unforgivable (*just ask his mother LOL*).. Still to this day, I know that if I needed something I could call on him (*or even his wife*) and they would be willing to help. Heck - you should have seen some of the looks I received when I was seen w/ him & his wife & little boy while visiting / talking at the carnival! HA HA The idea that we've both moved on - forgiven each other - and found a friendship that can withstand the pain we caused for ourselves & our family should be an example to others.. I am glad that God enabled us to have peace between each other. It's a mighty AWESOME feeling to know that God is still the healer of ALL kinds of wounds, especially when you're receptive to Him.
The rest of the night went well. We got numerous phone calls asking for sump pumps. Sadly, we ran out! The night went quickly though because the crew was getting along so well and customers were coming / going steadily. It didn't seem like long at all. I got home and called my parents to bring the kids down. It wasn't long before it was bedtime. The kids made it into bed on time and I settled into the quiet of the house to reflect on the day...
Tuesday, August 30
32 - the day after...
So - today was my kids' first day back to school. I signed in as a visitor and did a FULL circle of the upstairs & downstairs & did several flights of stairs. I was suprised that I wasn't nearly out of breath as I normally would be. 8^) I am conditioning my body to become a more fit & active person. This is SOO exciting!!! Even more exciting was the kids had a half day & both kids came home w/ a smile on their faces and feeling great about their new classes & teachers, etc.
I had a visitor today - my friend Sarah. We were supposed to walk, but it didn't happen, except to walk to the school & back. I had a guy come out to the house (*insurance salesman*) that brought 2 of the child safe kits - that I can carry in case of *heaven forbid!* the kids were ever lost, ran away, or abducted. It's basically a description & DNA & fingerprint kit FREE that I fill out etc.. and keep in a safe place. ANYWAY - this guy was semi-cute & super funny! It was a fun & funny part of the afternoon, especially when Sarah & I had him laughing so hard he couldn't hardly make his sales pitch to me for life insurance! LOL
He left & the kids came home from school - - we all got something to eat & Sarah headed home because she's got some allergy/sinus issues going on - and I pray she's feeling better! She's got to work at o'dark thirty tomorrow and that can be such a pain to deal with - - especially when your job is to drive!!!
The rest of the evening has been QUIET! My son left early to head to Boy Scouts & Lily & I enjoyed a few t.v. shows & some snacks etc.. Then she left & I'm left alone. AGAIN. *sigh*
ANYWAY! my friend tonight in her blog expressed her inspiration about me.. when the TRUTH is that she's been an inpiration to me! She's the ultimate stay-at-home Christian mom. She has the best ideas & her blogs have always given me inspiration for my relationship w/ Christ, relationship w/ my family & my children..everything. She's is awesome!!! This is a link to her blog: Life with Lissy
It's just amazing the connections that God has linked me in friendship etc.. with people that are RIGHT for my life and the life HE wants me to lead. I'm super excited that I've gotten a few small workouts in this week and since the kids are going to be in school I can take some lengthy bike rides & really kick it up a notch this week.. AND I still have my free Zumba class to attend--coming soon! which!!! I'm super excited to do w/ my friend at Life w/ Lissy 8^)
I'll be excited for Thursday's weigh in - - hopefully I've dropped those pesky 3 lbs and I can celebrate my 50lbs loss milestone. *cross you fingers* and pray! * It's been tough w/ the cake & other yummy munchies around..
Wish me luck!!!! I've only done small workouts & I've cheated on my diet - - not too bad, but still.. it has an effect.
I had a visitor today - my friend Sarah. We were supposed to walk, but it didn't happen, except to walk to the school & back. I had a guy come out to the house (*insurance salesman*) that brought 2 of the child safe kits - that I can carry in case of *heaven forbid!* the kids were ever lost, ran away, or abducted. It's basically a description & DNA & fingerprint kit FREE that I fill out etc.. and keep in a safe place. ANYWAY - this guy was semi-cute & super funny! It was a fun & funny part of the afternoon, especially when Sarah & I had him laughing so hard he couldn't hardly make his sales pitch to me for life insurance! LOL
He left & the kids came home from school - - we all got something to eat & Sarah headed home because she's got some allergy/sinus issues going on - and I pray she's feeling better! She's got to work at o'dark thirty tomorrow and that can be such a pain to deal with - - especially when your job is to drive!!!
The rest of the evening has been QUIET! My son left early to head to Boy Scouts & Lily & I enjoyed a few t.v. shows & some snacks etc.. Then she left & I'm left alone. AGAIN. *sigh*
ANYWAY! my friend tonight in her blog expressed her inspiration about me.. when the TRUTH is that she's been an inpiration to me! She's the ultimate stay-at-home Christian mom. She has the best ideas & her blogs have always given me inspiration for my relationship w/ Christ, relationship w/ my family & my children..everything. She's is awesome!!! This is a link to her blog: Life with Lissy
It's just amazing the connections that God has linked me in friendship etc.. with people that are RIGHT for my life and the life HE wants me to lead. I'm super excited that I've gotten a few small workouts in this week and since the kids are going to be in school I can take some lengthy bike rides & really kick it up a notch this week.. AND I still have my free Zumba class to attend--coming soon! which!!! I'm super excited to do w/ my friend at Life w/ Lissy 8^)
I'll be excited for Thursday's weigh in - - hopefully I've dropped those pesky 3 lbs and I can celebrate my 50lbs loss milestone. *cross you fingers* and pray! * It's been tough w/ the cake & other yummy munchies around..
Wish me luck!!!! I've only done small workouts & I've cheated on my diet - - not too bad, but still.. it has an effect.
Monday, August 29
It's my Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today has been awesome!!! I got a GREAT night's sleep. I fell asleep before 11pm last night & I woke around 10 am. I kept hearing my phone going off, not even thinking about it.. I had over 50 messages (from FB) of people wishing me a happy birthday! What I really loved was that as soon as I kicked off the covers there was Lily smiling w/ a loud "Happy Birthday Mom" I just melted. She's such a great kid.
I managed to get a few loads of laundry finished, along w/ cleaning up the porch & a few other areas today! AND I had 3 visitors today. My first visitor today was my pal Wade. He just stopped by to see how I was doing and ate a piece of cake. My other friend Mike SANG Happy Birthday to me as he drove by, but then he stopped in for a piece of cake & to chit chat. Not long after Mike left, my Dad arrived and took 2 pieces of cake for him & for mom for tonight. I have to remember to send along two more pieces for Mom's neighbor Carol & her mom. I sure wish I was an at-home care person. "Nana" has been home bound for a while. She needs someone to be with her always. I'm sure they will enjoy a little choc cake w/ peanut butter icing 8^)
After supper tonight, Lily insisted that I have a candle to blow out & make a wish on. So... I grabbed a candle & a cupcake and made a wish after Lily sang for me.. LOL It was great!
So now, here it is.. almost 11pm and I'm officially 32 yrs old and I feel great! I do feel a little tug in my heart about some issues, but all in all - - I feel great! The house is shaping up, the kids go back to school tomorrow, and I was able to enjoy my first day off getting alot accomplished & spend some great time w/ the kids. We even walked to McDonald's where I ate 1/2 of my salad & got a M&M flurry that was DELICIOUS!
Well, the kids are tucked & sleeping in bed and I've had a great day.. Now lets just see if God allows my birthday wish to come true.. and NO I'm not going to tell you what it is.. Tomorrow's a new day & I'm looking forward to sending the kids back to school and excited for their new year!! Daniel is my big 7th grader and Lily is my 6th grader. YIKEs! I am getting old LOL nahhh not really! LOL I feel awesome! losing 47 lbs and turning 32 is awesome! I can't wait for my weigh in this week (*since I'll be riding bike a lot while the kids are in school*) if I can lose those pesky 3 lbs to make it to my 50 lb milestone I'll be even more happy! AND if I can get rid of this choc. cake w/ peanut butter icing.. w/out having to eat it.. YUP - that would be 'icing on the cake' LOL
Good night everyone! I felt well liked, loved & popular all day long. God is awesome and He sure knows what He's doing bringing the right folks into my life. I am very blessed!
I managed to get a few loads of laundry finished, along w/ cleaning up the porch & a few other areas today! AND I had 3 visitors today. My first visitor today was my pal Wade. He just stopped by to see how I was doing and ate a piece of cake. My other friend Mike SANG Happy Birthday to me as he drove by, but then he stopped in for a piece of cake & to chit chat. Not long after Mike left, my Dad arrived and took 2 pieces of cake for him & for mom for tonight. I have to remember to send along two more pieces for Mom's neighbor Carol & her mom. I sure wish I was an at-home care person. "Nana" has been home bound for a while. She needs someone to be with her always. I'm sure they will enjoy a little choc cake w/ peanut butter icing 8^)
After supper tonight, Lily insisted that I have a candle to blow out & make a wish on. So... I grabbed a candle & a cupcake and made a wish after Lily sang for me.. LOL It was great!
So now, here it is.. almost 11pm and I'm officially 32 yrs old and I feel great! I do feel a little tug in my heart about some issues, but all in all - - I feel great! The house is shaping up, the kids go back to school tomorrow, and I was able to enjoy my first day off getting alot accomplished & spend some great time w/ the kids. We even walked to McDonald's where I ate 1/2 of my salad & got a M&M flurry that was DELICIOUS!
Well, the kids are tucked & sleeping in bed and I've had a great day.. Now lets just see if God allows my birthday wish to come true.. and NO I'm not going to tell you what it is.. Tomorrow's a new day & I'm looking forward to sending the kids back to school and excited for their new year!! Daniel is my big 7th grader and Lily is my 6th grader. YIKEs! I am getting old LOL nahhh not really! LOL I feel awesome! losing 47 lbs and turning 32 is awesome! I can't wait for my weigh in this week (*since I'll be riding bike a lot while the kids are in school*) if I can lose those pesky 3 lbs to make it to my 50 lb milestone I'll be even more happy! AND if I can get rid of this choc. cake w/ peanut butter icing.. w/out having to eat it.. YUP - that would be 'icing on the cake' LOL
Good night everyone! I felt well liked, loved & popular all day long. God is awesome and He sure knows what He's doing bringing the right folks into my life. I am very blessed!
Sunday, August 21
Welcome!! wait a minute?! how did I get in the attic??!!!
I don't know how, but somehow I wound up in the attic?! ha ha oh wait!! that's a cool place to be. Attics are usually where people store their 'treasures' and things they want to keep safe from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I think I'm safe here. ha ha! I've always found attics to be fun and exciting.. even if they are dusty and usually hotter than .. well.. u know!
In this attic, you'll find where I store my opinions and everyday things.. I'll talk about my family, my faith, and my progress with my dieting and exercise. It will keep it off of Facebook, that's for sure!! Apparently, not everyone is interesting in what I'm doing everyday but most are still willing to be 'friends' with me there.
Well.. I guess for my first blog this should just about do it. I'll post more blogs that include about my weight loss and my fitness regime etc.. I'm sure my real friends and people interested will find it entertaining and interesting. I know I sure will have fun 8^)
In this attic, you'll find where I store my opinions and everyday things.. I'll talk about my family, my faith, and my progress with my dieting and exercise. It will keep it off of Facebook, that's for sure!! Apparently, not everyone is interesting in what I'm doing everyday but most are still willing to be 'friends' with me there.
Well.. I guess for my first blog this should just about do it. I'll post more blogs that include about my weight loss and my fitness regime etc.. I'm sure my real friends and people interested will find it entertaining and interesting. I know I sure will have fun 8^)
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