Reflection

Interesting week & it's only Tuesday LOL !!!
I'm very happy. Feeling very blessed ! God is good & I pray He's got great things in store!

I came home from my son's Court of Honor (Boy Scouts) tonight. I was so proud and had a lot of fun. I took a friend of mine & his son. :) Pretty sure he's going to be a new recruit :) I'm so excited to help them join into this circle of friendship, brotherhood, and family !

After tagging the photos, I was scrolling through FB (again) and I happened upon a quote..

It's a good quote. Quite true to how I feel. However, as a Christian woman I should feel loved w/out the presence of a man in my life. I've often felt that God's molding me into the type of woman I need to be to find the one He has picked for me. I sometimes wonder if that's actually going to happen. I don't want to rush into anything!!!! However.. there are moments.. especially when I read things like this.. that I'm reminded .. I'm still waiting.  I often dream of a man that I'm able to love freely, with every bit of the love God grants me, and that he in return will love me just as much.

Proverbs 31 is very HOT right now. There's an entire ministry focused on it. You can find it EVERYWHERE !!! Why? Because starting about verse 10 it starts listing qualities that make a 'righteous' wife.  For already married women, it's something to strive for in your marriage. An actual list -- of ways you can measure yourself to attributes of a Godly wife - worthy of love & praise. For those of us in the single circuit and particularly in the divorced crowd - - they can be a reminder of how much we "just didn't make it " .. Being single (essentially since 2007) and never experiencing a love that was so great that I could honestly be 100 %  - I took a good long look at this list.  . I pray I have what it takes.. and that those qualities get noticed by the one that's been waiting for me. . like I him. The one that's ready to give his heart to someone that will value it, support it, and encourage it. Someone that will receive mine and do the same.

I don't want to seem down / heavy. Honestly, I've been so happy the past 3 months. Pretty dang close to the happiest I've ever been. I feel SOLID on my foundation of Jesus & His promises. I'm praying. I'm not vulnerable anymore. I am strong. I am loved. I am protected by the Blood. I refuse to re-build the walls but also pray to guard my heart. The thought of love makes me just a little weepy, scared, and yet.. it's something my heart yearns for (*even though I do NOT outwardly admit this nor do I want to show it-- in fear I appear desperate*).  I do not feel "single". I feel.. reserved: like going to K-mart & putting the perfect Christmas gift on layaway, making regular payments, trusting it will bring great happiness and joy someday.

Call me crazy but I believe in love.
Despite how many times I've failed, been hurt, bruised, and broken.. I still believe in love.
Pretty incredible.